Shitagau
by iloveatem
Summary: Nobody likes studying for finals, least of all Jounouchi, who just can't seem to find the motivation. Hopefully, a visit with Kaiba will help. KaiJou oneshot


**Shitagau**

by: _iloveatem_

Note: This is a fic for **Basima** who won a contest I threw with my other fic Distance almost exactly one year ago. Boy, how time flies.

* * *

Jounouchi didn't like studying. But, in all actuality, who did? This was not some kind of character trait. He was not an idiot. He was just confused about a single thing:

What was his motivation?

He won card games when it mattered, didn't he? He always had motivation then: saving Shizuka's eyesight, saving one of his friends, saving the world, etc.

Could any amount of studying do that? Decidedly _not_!

And so he stared blankly at the ominous pile of books that stood like a satanic monument in the center of his room. And he stared. And he frowned, deeply.

He saw no point. None at all.

This point of view was to be expected. When your life was as exciting as Jounouchi's had been (divorce, gangs, coma, guns, manically evil villains from the darkest pits of hell, etc.), how could you look at mundane tasks the same way again? You simple couldn't. And this was Jounouchi's dilemma.

He would study to get a good grade on a test, to get a good grade on his year-end report, to go to college, to get a job, to make money, get married, have a nuclear family, and die having done the same fuck-doodly-doo thing ever single other person in the world had done.

He was Jounouchi Katsuya, for Christ's sake! He was meant for more than that!

This thought process brought Jounouchi to nod, a smile forming on his face. It was with less regret than he would have expected that he stood and simply left the room.

Once standing outside the apartment, a new feeling of freedom hit him. He was free from the restraints of finals week! He could do…anything right now, if he truly wished to.

"I'm sorry, Jounouchi, he's studying."

Jounouchi frowned slightly down at Yuugi's short grandfather, who was returning the stare with a critical eye.

"Shouldn't you be doing the same?" the old man added. Jounouchi grinned.

"Thanks, Jii-san. Tell him I'll see him at school on Monday." And with this, he turned and walked down the road.

Well, damn.

It had only just occurred to him that perhaps his friends had not yet come to the same conclusion he had, and were thus still strapped within the merciless bonds of finals. Poor saps. But what was he to do now?

Arcade?

What, alone? Yea, no way.

Park? And do what, pick daisies? Oh, fun-fun.

Bar? What the hell, why is that even an option? He shook his head.

Library?

…never mind.

Maybe Honda was going through one of his "Just fuck the world, man. Fuck it all." phases, and they could go to the movies or something.

"Are you kidding, Jounouchi? I'm only halfway through the history chapters, and I haven't even _started_ memorizing my English vocabulary! You know what my mom's going to do to me if I fail another class?"

"Whip your ass?" Jounouchi offered dully into the cell phone.

"Whip. My. Ass, Jounouchi. You weren't here when we got my report last time. She nearly threw a chair at me! She was so fucking--" Honda paused. Jounouchi heard distant yelling through the line. "Yes, I'm studying, calm down! Jesus!" There was some scuffling. "Listen, Jounouchi, I got to go. You should be studying too, you know?"

"Yea, yea," and with that, Jounouchi hung up, slightly sadder and more disturbed than when he had flipped the device open in the first place.

There were no other options now. What the hell was he supposed to do to occupy his time enough to distract him from the slowly increasing sensation of stress in his stomach, caused, he wouldn't dare to admit, by the fact that he wasn't doing as all his friends were? Well, that was the question, wasn't it?

So he must consider something; something very important indeed.

Who was available? Who _wasn't_, dear god, studying?

He blinked. His eyes narrowed threateningly as a grin that could scare multiple small children at once spread like a plant across his face.

Oh yes. He knew who. Heh.

---

30 degrees equals the square root of 3 divided by 2 comma one-half or pi over 6; tangent of theta equals radical 3 over 3 or 1 over radical three; cosecant equals 1 over the value of y, or 1 over sin of theta, which equals 1 over one-half, which can be reduced to--

"DOORBELL!" At the sound of glorious salvation, Mokuba hopped a good four feet in the air, crushing his math book underfoot as he flat-out booked it to the front door, all thoughts of whatever the hell he had been studying banished to some unknown and never to be accessed part of his mind.

Wrenching open the large, wooden door with more excitement than would be natural for such a situation, Mokuba grinned hugely at their guest.

"Jounouchi! Hey! What're you doing here?"

The blond waved, smiling. "No reason."

Mokuba's eyes narrowed, his smile widened. "Hope you're not disappointed that _I'm _the one who opened the door."

Jounouchi cocked his head slightly to the side. "You studying for finals?"

Mokuba groaned. "Oh god, Jounouchi, it's horrible. All this crap about unit circles and radians, it's almost scary."

Jounouchi nodded knowingly. "I feel you, Mokuba."

"Why aren't you studying? Nii-sama said his finals were all next week."

Jounouchi shrugged. "So, you going to invite me in or are you really turning into your brother now?"

"Pfft, lucky you, with two Seto Kaibas wondering around," Mokuba said, moving to the side to allow the blond to enter.

"I don't know, Mokuba. That might make things confusing. One is complicated enough," Jounouchi scratched the back of his head, making his way in the general direction of the sitting room. "Where is your brother, anyway?"

"In his room."

"…Studying?"

Mokuba laughed, innocent and boyish. "Nii-sama never studies. He probably working or reading."

"Ah…"

"I don't think he'll care much that you're here, so I wouldn't worry about--"

"Where's his room again?"

Mokuba's eyes widened. "You want…to go to his bedroom?" Jounouchi nodded, looking curiously around the house as if he hadn't been there before. In reality, he had, but it was a long time ago. "Well, come on then," Mokuba said, unsure of whether to be nervous or excited. He settled for anxious.

It was half-way to their destination that Mokuba stopped and turned around.

"What're you--"

"Kitchen," the boy replied, glancing with a reassuring smile over his shoulder. "Believe me, you'll thank me for this later."

---

_Knock. Knock. _"Coffee, Nii-sama! Are you decent?"

It was unusually bright in his bedroom today, Kaiba noted. The window was fully open, letting in much sunlight and a pleasantly cool breeze. He sat, unusually comfortable, on his bed, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles, leaning casually against his pillows and mahogany headboard. His laptop buzzed and lightly warmed his lap as he typed. It was strange, but he could in all honestly say:

"Aren't I always, Mokuba?" The door opened.

"Not really," said a voice that was distinctly not Mokuba. "You set the standard for being indecent every now and then."

He hid his surprise. "I believe you're getting indecency mixed up with apathy, Bonkotsu."

"Not at all. You're the least apathetic person I know," Jounouchi said, quietly shutting the door and walking over to sit on the edge of the bed. He balanced a full coffee mug on his knee.

"How's that?" Kaiba asked, deciding to save the obvious question for a little later.

"If you didn't care so much, you wouldn't be such a jerk," Jounouchi said with a satisfied nod.

"Why are you in my house?" In my bedroom, _on my bed_, and holding _my _coffee.

"I decided that saving the world was better than studying English."

"Ah, and, as anyone would know, the source of any and all world-saving is in my bedroom, correct?" Kaiba asked.

"Sorry, did I say saving? I meant distaining."

"There you go. Now give me my coffee."

"For free?" Jounouchi said, grinning. "No way man."

Kaiba paused. "Have you forgotten? You are in MY house, on MY bed, with MY coffee in MY mug, Bonkotsu."  
"YOUR mug?" Jounouchi asked. "Is your NAME on it?"

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"Huh?" Jounouchi lifted the mug to look at it. Sure enough, in scrawled writing, it said "_To Seto nii-sama, Love Mokuba. Keep it real, home fry!"_

"What an odd relationship you two have."

"Give it to me," Kaiba demanded, his hand out.

"Certainly, sir," and Jounouchi quickly placed the cup on the bedside table, leaned over and kissed Kaiba right on the lips.

"Damn it; when I said 'it', I meant coffee," Kaiba said, annoyed.

"You didn't really, you know?" Jounouchi said slyly. "Secretly, you want my body."

Kaiba snorted. "Like a bullet to the head, Jounouchi."

"Then you must have suicidal tendencies, cause you want me," Jounouchi grinned mischievously. "You want me so bad you can't help yourself."

"Yes," Kaiba said lightly. "That makes so much sense. Of course! I realize it now!"  
"Realize what?"

"You're a moron." He reached over, grabbed his mug, and brought it to his lips.

"Jerk," Jounouchi said, sliding up and leaning against the headboard next to Kaiba, crossing his legs as well.

"Why are you here? Seriously."

Jounouchi paused, thinking. "Because," he began, "you're the only person I could think of that wouldn't be studying."

"Why aren't _you_ studying?" Kaiba asked, sliding the mug back on the table. "If anyone needs to study--."

"It's me, it's me, I know," Jounouchi grumbled. "But I just don't have any motivation!"

"What's the English word for _nikakokugo_?" Kaiba asked suddenly, sitting up and looking directly at him.

"What?" Jounouchi asked, flustered.

"_Nikakokugo_," he repeated. "What's the English word?"

"Oh, god, um…I know this…Ni..ka…uh…" Jounouchi chewed the inside of his cheek. "Bilingual!" he shouted. Kaiba leaned down and planted his lips on his cheek, resting there for several moments before sitting back up.

"_Anzen_," Kaiba said, looking into Jounouchi's wide eyes. "In English."

Without thinking, Jounouchi said "Safety." Kaiba pulled himself over Jounouchi, leaning on all fours over the blond before leaning down and pressing his lips lightly to Jounouchi's lips.

"_Fukuro_," he said, his voice lower.

"Fork," Jounouchi said. Kaiba pulled his arms away from Jounouchi and went back to his original position on the bedpost, looking irritated. "OWL!" Jounouchi corrected himself.

Kaiba was hovering over him again. This time, the kiss was harder, more demanding, but not quite a real kiss yet.

"_Niwa_," he said, staring deeply into Jounouchi's eyes from half a foot away.

"Ni…wa…?" Jounouchi whispered. His mind was blank. Niwa…niwa…he knew it, damn it, he knew it! What was it? Chicken?…no…uh…Diary?…no…damn it…

"Garden!" he said, much too loudly. Kaiba was still for a moment. Oh shit…had he gotten it wrong?

Next thing his knew, Kaiba was in his mouth. Here, he though, was a kiss. It was hard and demanding and wet and just plain fun! Jounouchi's head was forced against the headboard, but he didn't care much.

Right when he was really getting into it, Kaiba pulled away. Jounouchi growled angrily.

"Studying, studying, Bonkotsu," he said, and Jounouchi glared at him. "_Himitsu_."

"Secret," Jounouchi said. It was one of his favorite words.

Kaiba folded his fingers underneath Jounouchi's shirt, barely touching the skin of his abdomen. He just barely touched his forehead to Jounouchi's clothed chest. "_Yokubo_."

"No fair. We haven't learned that one yet," Jounouchi said. Kaiba lifted his head to breath into Jounouchi's ear.

"It's _lust_ Jounouchi. Lust." And the blond blushed furiously. "_Fureru koto."_

This most certainly couldn't be fair. He couldn't think straight, damn it!

"I'll give you a hint, but only one," Kaiba breathed again, his hand slowly sliding further up the inside of Jounouchi shirt, taking the garment with it. "_Fureru koto_," he repeated.

"T-t-touching," Jounouchi said, bringing his arms up to grab Kaiba's shoulders for support.

"Good," and with this, his thumb swiped across a nibble and Jounouchi giggled. He didn't mean to. It was a reaction!

Kaiba chuckled at him, and Jounouchi was irritated again. "_Shigeki suru_," Kaiba said, and, by the sound of his voice, Jounouchi could hear that he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Stimulate," Jounouchi said, remembering having heard that world on an American movie with subtitles he watched the other day. He had decided it was a stupid movie. Too many sex scenes.

Kaiba's lips were on his again, and, this time, he wasted no time with his tongue. He caressed Jounouchi's mouth and lips, his hands working Jounouchi's quickly moving chest. With each rise and fall, Kaiba felt success. "_Shitagau_," he whispered into his mouth.

"Ah…uh…god, um…" Jounouchi mumbled, his eyes fluttering open and shut. "Uh…underwear?"

Kaiba removed his hand from Jounouchi's shirt and sat up, looking at him and frowning.

"No, wait! I know this one!" Jounouchi said quickly. "Ah…um…um…a dead body!"

Kaiba got off the blond and moved to his original spot on the bed.

"No, Bonkotsu."

"Tongue!"

"No, Bonkotsu."

"Intimacy!"

"No."

"….yearn?"

"Just give up, Bonkotsu."

"What it is!?" Jounouchi yelled, sitting up on his knees and looking down at the man.

Kaiba looked up at him, something akin to regret in his eyes. "Submit, Bonkotsu. It was submit."

"Oh," Jounouchi said, sinking down on the bed.

Kaiba stood up, and Jounouchi didn't move. A few moment later, he was hit in the head with a book.

"Jesus! What was that?" he yelled at Kaiba, grabbing the book and moving to throw it back at him.

"Your textbook for the next," Kaiba looked at his watch, "Eight hours, Bonkotsu. And I'm locking the door."

Jounouchi looked down at the thick volume, a bright yellow in color, reading "The English Language for Dummies!" in dark, black text.

"Eight hours!" Jounouchi said and Kaiba started to move toward the door. "You can't do that!"

"There will be breaks. And food. Other than that, nothing. Eight hours."

"But _why_!?" Jounouchi said, crawling off the bed and looking at him, irritated.

Kaiba paused, his hand on the door handle.

"Because, Bonkotsu," he said, leaning down and planting a kiss in the blonds' forehead. "You have motivation now." The door was shut, and a soft click resounded.

Jounouchi sighed, throwing the book on the bed and then himself. He looked up at the severely white ceiling.

"_Shitagau_, huh?" Jounouchi said, then laughed to himself. "What a jerk."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

A/N

This fic is NOT proofread yet. I wanted to get it up here first. So cut me a little slack, k.

I hope everyone enjoyed. And, no, I haven't died, and I do plan on updating all my fics eventually.

Most importantly, I hope **Basima** liked the fic I wrote! That's really all that matters.

ALSO. All that math Mokuba was spewing. All of it is 100 percent correct math. It's all true.

As for the Japanese words, I'm fairly certain that they are correct. If not, feel free to drop a review. Otherwise, you just got served a free Japanese lesson with a sprinkle of mathematics! The best way to learn is to shove it in a yaoi fanfic, you know.

-iloveatem-


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